It is important that you support your kids get through divorce by helping them express their emotions.
It is not good if you let your children tend to their emotions on their own.
This post will discuss tips on how you can help your children cope up with divorce.
How to Help Your Children Express Their Feelings
You need to learn how to listen to your kids without you getting defensive in the process. Once you listen to your kids, your next task is to reassure them that their feelings are normal and that you are there to give them your unconditional love.
This section will discuss the things that you need to know about how to help your children express their feelings and reassure your kids that everything will be all right during the divorce.
Divorce can feel like a huge loss to all kids. It is like losing a parent or the life that they are used to.
Children grieve at the thought of divorce but you can help them adjust to the new events that will come to their lives by supporting their feelings.
- Find Words for Their Feelings
Children find it difficult to express their feelings under the circumstance of divorce. You can help them by noticing their moods and telling them that what they are feeling are normal. Encourage them to express how they feel.
When your child shares his or her feelings, listen to them. You will be surprised on how your child reacts to the divorce. Once you are done listening, reassure them by telling them that you love them.
- Encourage Them to Be Honest
Many children are very reluctant to share their true feelings because they are afraid of hurting you. Tell them that it is okay to be honest. The thing is that if they are not honest with their feelings, it will be harder to deal with your kids and this can also result to a lot of resentment in their part.
- Acknowledge Their Feelings
It may be difficult to fix the situation and do something about the sadness that they feel but it is important that you acknowledge their feelings instead of dismissing them.
How to Provide Stability during Divorce
Children need to be flexible but letting them go through divorce is too much and it can break the very foundation of their principles and beliefs. In this crucial time, it is important that you provide structure and stability in their daily lives so that they don’t lose themselves to anger, resentment and sadness.
Establishing stability does not necessarily mean setting up rigid schedule to your children but it means creating routines that will provide them a sense of calm during the divorce.
The advantage of setting up schedules for younger children is recognized as a good way for children to cope up with divorce.
However, it is important to take note that even older children need routine. The thing is that they feel safer when they know the things that they need to expect about divorce such as switching homes or changing schools.
Below are the things that you can do to set routines to your kids to provide stability during divorce.
- Set a “FUN" Day Every Week
It is important that you set a schedule for “fun” day that your kids will look forward to every week. This will allow them to relax their minds from thinking about the divorce.
- Eat Meals Together
Make it a habit of eating meals together. Set a specific time for meal times so that you and your children can talk about your day.
- Enforce Family Rules
One of the most crucial mistakes that parents make during divorce is that they spoil their kids by giving them gifts just to make up for everything. However, this only masks the problem.
Instead, enforce the family rules to give your children the idea that the family unit is still the same even if you are splitting up.
How to Work With Your Ex for the Welfare of Your Children
Divorce always leads to both parents having conflict over the custody and welfare of kids. It is important that you do not put your children in the middle of the fight.
Your goal here is to make sure that you prevent your children from lasting stress and pain while going through divorce. Below are the tips on how you can save them from feeling all negativities while you are going through divorce:
- Take the Argument Somewhere
If there is a need for you to argue with your spouse, take the argument somewhere. If it is impossible to argue without the presence of your kids, drop the conversation and talk some other time.
- Be Polite
When interacting with your spouse, be polite as this not only sets a good example for your children but it can also make your ex have gracious response thus preventing any untoward arguments to happen.
- Be Tactful
Never tell your children about the details of your spouse’s behavior. Remember that if you do not have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything.
- Developing a Friendly Relationship with Your Spouse
It might be difficult but working to develop an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse can help your children transition smoothly in divorce.
What’s best for your kids is for them to have a good relationship with both parents throughout their lives so even if you are dissolving your marriage; you still need to maintain communication with each for the sake of the children.
- Have Long-term Goals
Keep in mind that you need to keep long term goals to raise your children through divorce. The long-term goals will allow you to see to it that the needs of your children are provided and that you don’t become an irresponsible parent.
- Think of Everyone’s Happiness
Your goal is to think about the happiness not only of your children but also for yourself as well as your ex-spouse. Divorce indicates a fresh leaf in your life so expect that all of you will be getting new lives after a divorce.
It is, therefore, crucial to think about everyone’s happiness in the end.